Stacey Moves

Sunday, September 10, 2006

For today's Afternoon Drama.... Stacey's 'To-Do' List

FIGURE OUT LIFE (I have yet to come up with a way to keep this light and breezy. Does 'breezy' have an 'e' in it? I mean in addition tothe first two? Anyway, I am really wondering what the hell this life is all supposed to be about? I'm feeling very "I Heart Huckabees" about it all. I mean, yes, I see the value in the inter-connectedness of life and getting down the core of myself, but then I wonder- Why? If life is a puzzle made up of all the little pieces, when the hell do I get to see the final picture? All this in-between stuff is damn infuriating. 9-5 jobs are damn infuriating, and pretty mind-numbing in my opinion. I do have an agenda in mind with this current 9-5er, however I do wonder about the next 345 days (give or take) of my life- sitting behind a desk at an up-scale (former) dude-ranch, swiping credit cards for upwards of $16,ooo. Will I change my mind and become a hotel manager? Will I lose my will to live? Will I be accepted into grad school and move to London, never to return again? These things gnaw (what a great word?) at me day and night, and in the meantime, WHO IS GOING TO WIN PROJECT RUNWAY?! And what do I do after I know the winner?! Start Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy, of course. The days press on, and I continue to drink cup after cup of coffee when I say I'm going to stop, and bread keeps appearing on my plate afer I remind myself that I don't feel good when I eat it (usually because 'eating bread' translates to gorging on it) and somehow I still don't believe that deprivation and self-loathing are not the answers to my problems; progress feels elusive. I find, ironically, that what keeps me moving forward is this constant struggle; my plight, my burden, which I push up the mountain, day after day, for all eternity, that is what keeps my engine running. I live for the pain. Oh, the drama.)
GO TO TRADER JOE'S- dark chocolate, micro greens, soy milk, cheese
stacey+james mcavoy!
luv 4-ever

email brent about letter of rec
call bada on tuesday- BUY CALLING CARD!


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